we have pet lesbian snakes
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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