His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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