I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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