wrigley field is MILF paradise
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
