Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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