Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
