I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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