He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
