i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
