Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
