Whod you bang
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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