They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want to make out with him forever
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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