i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
