I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
