O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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