I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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