I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
