I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
