I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
