I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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