yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
