i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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