I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
