what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
