Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
