the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize