Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
