Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
