think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
