he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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