you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
