so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
