Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Four minutes until I can fart!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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