my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
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Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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