your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
