u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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