I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
