wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize