Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
