I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This is not my ceiling
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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