he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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