found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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