Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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