May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
