everyone is single if you try hard enough
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i need some magic done to my vagina
PANTIES FOUND
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