How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
