I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Randomize
