It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
