New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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