I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
