I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So many bounce houses so little time
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Randomize
