Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
