nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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