I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
