you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
