last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
