Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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