So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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