Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
