Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
