I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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