Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She told me I should be a condom model.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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