Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
