Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
