I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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