We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
