I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am spending my child support on dildos
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How external is "for external use only"?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
